Don't Be Afraid to Be Different

http://www.wltx.com/news/article/121995/2/Teacher-Born-With-Down-Syndrome-Breaks-Sterotypes

Check this video out! 

I am going to get on my soapbox for a short while today.  As you all know, our son has Down syndrome.  We didn't know before he was born.  I was only 24 when I had him and felt very scared about the future.  I can say I was in shock for a full week and then I snapped out of it.  It does take longer for most people to come to the place of acceptance that Tim and I did so easily, but we are fighters and we were and are surrounded by great family and friends. 

We began searching out anything we could find about Down syndrome.  We got him all of the therapies he would need as appropriate.  I will say that I don't think more therapies=better results.  Therapy is so important for children with Down syndrome, but overdoing it leads to a family life filled with only therapy and not allowing your child to just be a child.  I know I have friends who differ from this opinion and I respect that, but this is how we feel.  We also found the best doctors and only surrounded ourselves with friends and professionals who didn't stereotype him (at least to our faces) and who felt that his potential was limitless.

My mom or I did therapy with him every day.  He was treated as any other child would be treated.  We had high expectations for him and expected only the best.  Nothing has changed in this regard.  As he began school, we searched out the best schools, I volunteered my time in helping teachers learn about him as a person and learning the basics about Down syndrome, and we made sure that the schools knew what our expectations were.  We always have worked as a team with his schools and have truly been blessed with some amazing folks in his life.

Here we are present day.  I shared the link at the top to show a point.  It's fine to be different.  It's also hard to be different.  This young lady's parents in the video chose to go a different route for her and not buy into the stereotypes that society insists we must believe.  I wish I could share how many tears I have cried or how much joy has been felt at going a different path for Keegan.  He has never been in a special education classroom.  I am not judging those of you who need these classrooms or want them for your children, but we wanted something different for Keegan.  He has worked very hard to get where he is and we have put a lot of effort in as his parents as well.  I recognize not everyone has the time nor the resources to do what we did and make the choices we made, but it's so sad that you have to have those things in order to get the best for your child with special needs. 

I also want to say that if you insist that my child is where he is at b/c he is "higher functioning", I don't buy it.  I know that there is a spectrum in Down syndrome and I admit that God chose to have Keegan be higher functioning.  But, we all have choices on how we interact with our children in so many ways-how will they be disciplined, what will our expectations be, how much effort do we have to put in, etc.?  A LOT of effort was put in and I don't think it's by accident that he has gotten to where he is today.  He put the most work in and the hope is that he will reap the rewards as he gets older. 

I can only hope and pray that Keegan is going to be one of those people with Down syndrome out there who can continue the breaking down of stereotypes for others just like him.  He is a great kid who plans to get married and go to college (yes, he has told me this on his own).  You know what?  I believe he will do just that.  If any of you out there are wondering how you are going to get through this or what to believe/not believe about your child with Down syndrome, I just want to say that they need your love and acceptance, but they also need your belief that they will show you what their limits are and not to believe the stereotypes that have been around for so long.  They will surprise you-I promise!

Sorry if I offended anyone in this post.  It's all my own perspective and I truly do respect the other routes people have chosen to go with their own children.  It's not my place to judge what is right for anyone b/c everyone's circumstances are different.  I just wanted to share my own viewpoint, particularly b/c it is so different than so many others out there.